One Woman's Faith

I stood uneasily as the wooden floor beneath me creaked.  It was hot and sweat was dripping off of everyone in the room.  I looked around the room at this ragtag bunch of misfits.  Here we stood, the banana farmer,  the village mid-wife, the cook, the pastor, the single mother, and the missionary.  I looked at the woman lying on the bed and knew that unless God did a miracle, that she would be dead soon.  We stood, worshipped the One who knew her suffering more than anyone, laid hands on her, prayed for healing, cried, whispered words of love and encouragement from the scriptures to her, and left the room quietly to let her rest.  She was a young believer in Jesus, a mother, a nurse, and a survivor.  She had lived through the Khmer Rouge, she had survived the rebuilding of the nation.  But here she lay dying of cervical cancer.  Her husband had left her and her children years ago to take another wife. 

She represented to me the young Khmer Church.  The struggles that she faced I see daily in the Church in Cambodia.  She had given her heart to the Lord several years ago while a group of people met with a missionary weekly for one year.  After the missionary was unable to meet with the group anymore, her faith waivered and she returned to her former ways.  She was going to the pagoda again.  Offering sacrifices to the spirits.  Her life was filled with the terrible knowledge of knowing the truth and yet, rejecting it for a lie (Rom. 1:22-23).  She was trying desperately to make sense of life, to survive, and to take care of her children and now her grandchildren. 

When Vutha moved to Kampot, the group contacted him and asked if he could start meeting with the  few who remained.  For two years he has been meeting with the small “water fall” cell group.  The group remains small, but it is growing in the knowledge of Christ (Eph.  1:17).  After the group was meeting again and being strengthened, the lady asked if she could return to join them.  She was embarrassed that she had been so easily pulled away from pursuing the Lord and felt that she had failed when there was no one around to encourage her in her walk.  The group eagerly embraced her, loved on her, and rejoiced at her return.  She was still weak in her faith, like all of us, but she was growing.  She had been back for almost a year.

Five days after I stood with the brothers and sisters at the foot of the bed, our sister went to be with the Lord.  When I got the phone call, I cried.  It was a blow to all of us.  I did not cry because she was dead, I knew she was now with the Lord.  I cried for her family.  She was the only Christian in her family.  Her children demanded a traditional Buddhist funeral and refused to let Vutha speak or share the gospel.  They feared that it might bring bad luck to the family if Christians were involved in the service. 

Vutha visited the family after the funeral and shared the Hope that their mother and grandmother had.  He, once again, shared the gospel with the family as he has many times in the past.  I am thankful that to have known this woman.  Her struggle was our struggle, her strength was our strength, and her Lord is our Lord.  I am so thankful that we do not have to mourn her death as others do.  Though her body sleeps; she lives with her Savior!  Pray for the family to know her Savior and for the young believers here to be strengthened.

“But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep,  lest you sorrow as other who have no hope.  For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who sleep in Jesus.”  1 Thess. 4:13-14

Missionary Vision

“Missionary work is church work. It is not a steady stream of glamorous and exciting events, but a slow and steady perseverance in preaching, teaching, evangelizing, and shepherding. ”

Brad White

I took a test before we moved back to Cambodia. It was one of those tests that tell you what your strengths are and how to use those strengths to encourage others. I enjoyed the test and really enjoyed my time with the couple who taught our team. Mark and Melissa Medley, if you are reading this, thanks for taking the time to meet with us and guide us through maze. The test listed your top five strengths and helped you focus on using those things that are natural to you and how not be frustrated by the gifts and strengths that you do not have. Instead of being frustrated by your lack, build on your personal strengths and "staff your own weaknesses."

My top strength was "context." Simply put it means that you learn from the past, yours and others, and view the future through past events. It helps you avoid pitfalls that others have made and to see things that worked and to apply those things to your present situation. The test really helped me understand my personality and probably explains why I was a history major in college. So, the following is my thoughts through the "context lens" of missions; past and present.

I have a great burden for the Church and for the lost. I ache to see the Kingdom of God established in the nations of the earth. While I appreciate the heart and desire of many Churches in western nations to send missionaries and teams to the far reaches of the earth, I am wondering if we ever stop to evaluate the results. Do we stop to listen to the foreign missionaries who have lived on the field for years or to the indigenous brothers and sisters to see what the real needs are. Is our missions for the glory of Christ or for our own selfish gain? Does our going really just make us feel good, or are we going for His name to be lifted up? Do we go to the nations to "teach the heathen," or do we go because we have heard the heavenly calling and must obey it? Are we sent as a part of the Body of Christ or are we on our own mission?

If it is so easy to go and have hundreds or possibly thousands of conversions in a few days, then why is the whole earth not turned to Christ yet? If is it so easy in foreign fields, why are those numbers not reflected in western nations? I am amazed at what I read on social networking sites from people who have only visited a country for a few days, do not know anything at all of the culture of the people, and yet are able to have 1,700 people get "saved" in a week. I do not doubt the sincerity of those who post these things or that they really believe them. However, does the scripture not show us that the greatest missionary who ever lived, Jesus Christ, took time to be with the people and live among them (Matt. 1:23)? Why do we think we can take a shortcut, avoid any real disappointment, discouragement, and disillusionment, and be back in our native land eating in our comfortable homes leaving the long process of discipleship to a few of the "called ones" who have to live with the "savage" peoples? Does anyone ever stop to ask how many times these people have been "saved" and yet, they still worship idols?

Don't get me wrong, I am called to a "savage" land. I want to disciple the people of S.E. Asia. I have ministered in the west and I know there are many disappointments and difficult times there. I do not envy my pastor friends in America, Canada, and Scotland who have to shepherd the people of those lands. I am merely asking, no, begging, when you come for a short term trip, come to serve. Come to learn as much as come to teach. You have much to offer, but you also have much to learn. As Derek Prince said, "God gave you two ears, but only one mouth." Listen to what God is showing the people working there and come to serve that vision.

I have read and heard of reports of the mission agencies stating the numbers of converts in certain parts of the world. Many times when those numbers are added up and totaled together, the numbers of converts often are three times higher than the population of the nation. When you talk to missionaries living and working in those nations, it is obvious that the numbers of true converts do not match the numbers posted by the various agencies. Are our numbers more important than the true work of God?

I am not saying that short term missions is not important to the vision of the local Church and to the missionaries themselves. I am simply saying that in scripture and in Church history, the way that nations are won for Christ is when a group of people (Paul, Barnabas, Silas, Timothy, Hudson Taylor, Gladys Aylward, William Carey, Amy Carmichael, James Fraser, Adoniram Judson,etc.) go to a city/nation, live there, and share the gospel. In modern history, 17th century on, it usually takes 50 to 100 years of constant missionary involvement from a group of people before the gospel takes root among the local population. By living and dying there, they build up national leadership that then grows the Church.

Most of the great missionary "hero's" of the past would not make it in today's missionary climate. Many of them saw little fruit in their lifetimes. But by their faithful sowing, a harvest has been reaped in the nations where they served. The "Lamb that was slain is receiving the reward of His suffering" because they refused to be moved from the vision that was given to them. They suffered beyond what most of us could imagine. They buried wives and children in foreign lands and yet endured for His glory to be revealed to the people.

The quote at the beginning of this blog says perfectly what I am trying to communicate, "Missionary work is...a slow and steady perseverance in preaching, teaching, evangelizing, and shepherding." I pray that the western Church has the patience and willingness to endure to see a glorious bride prepared for Christ.

Pleading With False Gods

But Joash said to all who stood against him, “Would you plead for Baal? Would you save him? Let the one who would plead for him be put to death by morning! If he is a god, let him plead for himself, because his altar has been down!” Judges 6:31-33

This is a very familiar story found in chapter 6 of the book of Judges. Gideon had torn down the altar of Baal, under the cover of darkness because, “he feared his father’s household and the other men in the city too much…. (v.27)” In the morning, the men of the city wanted to kill Gideon and the other men with him who had torn down their altar and idols.

Usually in this story I focus on Gideon’s fear. I can easily identify with him because I am not sure, but I probably would have done what he did. I would have really wanted to please God, but would have been really afraid. So, I would work out some sort of compromise in my mind where I could obey God and minimize the cost. Honestly, I am not sure what I would do if God told me go to the pagoda next door to my house and to destroy it. I know the cost to me and my family would be huge!

The other night in our family devotion time, we read this story again. I found myself focusing on a different aspect of the story for the first time. As we were reading, I found myself in the place of the men of the city. What do I do when others tear down the idols and altars in my life? Sure, the places that I find myself worshipping are not as obvious as the people where I live. I do not get up and burn incense to deceased relatives every morning. I do not go to the pagoda and offer sacrifices to the spirits in order to have good luck. But I do have idols in my life just the same. I am sure you do as well. Some are obvious: sports teams and television. Then there are those subtle ones that I worship at: my doctrine, my style of worship, my view of righteous social agendas, etc.

Like the men of the city, I find myself defending my idols. In my Church circles it is easy to push aside most of the assaults on my idols. I just say something like, “Hey brother, you need to watch out, your letting a religious spirit creep into your thinking.” That works for those challenging your time, how you spend your money, what entertains you. Another common defense of my idols is to say, “Wow, you are really letting the culture influence you. You have watered down the truth.” That one works on the assault to my motives on social agenda issues. After all, my agenda is righteous, so I can hide my motive to be right behind that, right?

I find that the subtle idols are dangerous because they can most easily be disguised as ___________ (fill in your Christian jargon here). Doctrine is important, worship is important, social agendas, and the rest are important, but sometimes we can find ourselves letting these take the place of relationship with this amazing, holy, loving, Christ.

I find that the idols in my life, even the “holy” ones, keep me away from the God of love. The Holy Spirit has challenged me this week to lay down my idols and to see if they can defend themselves. If they can’t, then they need to go. I want to get to that simple Christianity that just lives to the glory of God daily by loving Him and loving my neighbor.

Joash was a pretty wise man. Will you follow his advice this week and let your idols defend themselves if they can?

Empty Money Box

As I opened the money box, I was surprised to see that it was empty. It was the first Monday of the month and I had gone into the office early to get the staff salaries and rent ready. I looked into the box in disbelief. I called for Tola and Coy, two of the young men from Heritage House who work at the school as security guards, to come. Tola came around the corner and I asked where Coy was. He told me that Coy had not been there all weekend long. I stood in disbelief as my mind whirled and I realized that Coy, one of my Khmer "sons," had robbed the ministry.

Coy's father, an ex-Khmer Rouge solider and cadre leader, was murdered when Coy was 10 years old. His father was a shaman for their village and had made alot of enemies in his past. Coy and his siblings heard the gun shots from a few hundred yards away, but he was dead by the time they reached him. His mother immediately abandoned the family and moved to Thailand. Coy's sister, the oldest of 11, had married a pastor and tired to care for the younger children, but they did not have the resources to care for them properly. So, Coy, and three of his younger siblings, Krum, Yaht and Srey Ma, came to live with us at Heritage House. They have been a part of our family for over six years now.

For a week, Vutha and I tried to contact Coy. All of our attempts failed and we grew more and more frustrated. We spent a week on the emotional roller coaster of guilt, "how did we fail him?," to anger, "how could he do this to us?", to prayer, "Father, help us and protect Coy!", and over and over again. Finally, Coy's brother-in-law, the pastor, got ahold of him and called us. We scheduled a meeting and prayed that he would return.

I finally got the call from Vutha saying that Coy, his brother-in-law, and two other men were at his house and wanted to meet with me. As I walked into the room, every eye was on me and I knew that the first few words were critical. Coy stood as I walked in and bowed in Asian respect. My emotions were overwhelming and I really did not know what to say or to do, so I did what came natural, I hugged him and told him that I loved him and that, more importantly, Jesus loved him and wanted to forgive him. The tension in the room immediately lifted as the presence of the Lord filled that place.

We talked for over an hour and Coy returned the money that he had not spent (about 80%). We have scheduled a payment plan for the other 20%. One of the men who was with Coy was not a Christian and could not believe how we reacted to the situation. In Khmer society, things would have been much different for Coy. I was excited to see how Vutha handled the situation as a Khmer Christian, a pastor, and a father to the Heritage House children.

As we finished our meeting, we prayed for Coy. When we were done praying, Coy fell into my arms and wept openly asking for forgiveness. This is against everything in Khmer culture, he is a young man, and they do not cry and no one here asks for forgiveness without the grace of God coming on them. I wept with Coy and I rejoiced in his humility and the fact that he was once again right with the Father.

Coy is living with his sister and brother-in-law again. We all felt that was best for him at this point. He called Sterling last week, they are good friends, and talked for awhile. Before they hung up, he asked that Kristen or I call him sometime. I was out of town, but Kristen called and they had a good talk. I will call him tomorrow to check on him.

"...love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8), and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for the love of Christ that forgives and covers my sins, I am thankful that he can pour out in my heart an attitude of love toward a young man who made a bad choice. I know that this is part of the dealings of God in Coy's life and that Coy's future is going to be a good one as long as he continues to humble himself to His Savior.

This orphanage thing can ripe your guts out at times, but I praise God for His goodness and faithfulness in my life, in Kristen's life, and in the lives of the children at Heritage House. He is good!

The Orphans Cry

The older girls from Heritage House had a sleep over at our house a few weeks back. Kristen and Elizabeth LeMarr had them over to play games, eat popcorn and watch a movie. We like to do icebreakers with the kids from Heritage House just to see what they are thinking about things.

We usually do one serious one and one lighter one. On this night, Kristen asked the girls a light one to start off. The question was, “If a genie granted you one wish, what would you wish for?” The girls started around the room and the answers ranged from, “I would wish for a good job,” to “I would wish for a nice moto,” until finally it came to Churp. Chrup is a 14 years old and is a very serious young woman. When it was her turn to answer the question, she sat quietly for a few seconds and then said, “If I had one wish, it would be that my entire family really knew Jesus.”

Chrup’s older sister, Srey Neeung used to live at Heritage House. When she was sixteen years old, she decided that she wanted to move out and live her own life. Their mother had died in child birth with their younger sister, Srey Night. Their father had left them with their grandmother and remarried. Srey Neeung went back to live with their father and work in a sweat shop. Chrup prays daily for her older sister and father.

Srey Neeung gets married this week. When we asked Chrup if she wanted to go, she said, “No, I cannot go because Srey Neeung is going to marry a man who is not a Christian. She knows the truth but is choosing to disobey God. I cannot go and say this is alright.” In this culture, it is a huge step to not go to a family function. Chrup is really taking a stand for righteousness . She is putting the word of God and the truths found there ahead of her culture and ahead of her family (Luke 14:26). It would be easy for her to go and say, “I am going to be a witness.” However, she is letting her older sister know that she loves her, but will not sit by while her sister chooses to disobey God. For this, I applaud Chrup.

Churp has a burden for souls. However, it is not the burden that says there is an easy salvation out there; just say this prayer and then live however you want. Her burden is for a true, soul saving, life changing salvation that brings freedom in Christ. Chrup, as evidenced by the answer to the question that Kristen asked, is also not concerned for the things of this world. She has fixed her eyes on the eternal and cares for the things that really matter. She is burdened for her family, her friends at school, and her country.

I am convicted as I write this because I see in a 14 year old young woman what should be the burden of my heart. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be the “unction” in my life for what really matters. I pray for a fresh burden for souls.