Habits

I have a hole in my right shoe.  It is right in the arch between the ball of my foot and my heel.  As a matter of fact, I have a hole in the exact same spot in most of my shoes.  It's not because I walk funny, although I do have this mix of western and Asian strolling going on nowadays.  I have a hole there because of the way that I ride motorcycles.

I got my first dirt bike when I was 10 years old.  It was a 1978 Honda XR 75.  It was a few years old when I got it, but it shined that first day.  I learned how to ride in cow pastures, on dirt roads, and the lake bottoms.  I graduated to a XR 200 when I was 14 (that's when I started breaking bones, too many to count).  Then to a KDX 200 my senior year of high school.  Since then I have had a variety of mopeds, dirt bikes, and street bikes in the United States and Asia.  I love to ride.  It is my primary source of transportation in Cambodia.  In our first five years of living here, I put 20,000 miles on a dirt bike.  That's a lot of miles riding primarily on semi-paved roads, dirt roads, and, on occasion, through rice paddies.

Because I have ridden for so long, I have ingrained habits.  Because I used to race a little and ride the lake bottoms a lot, I sit a certain way on a motorcycle.  I hold the clutch with two fingers, always.  When things are getting a little hairy, I slide up on the seat, never worry about the back wheel, just focus on the front, I pull my elbows up, and play the throttle according to the situation.  I rarely use my back brake, except to slow for certain kinds of corners.  So, I always put my right foot on the edge of the peg and it wears a hole in my shoe.

My riding style is a habit.  When things get really sticky, I have 32 years worth of habit to lean on to get me out of it.  My other habits, ones far more important, are prayer and Bible reading.  So, when life gets a little sticky, I have something that automatically kicks in and I can lean on and trust to get me out of the situation.

Pleading With False Gods

But Joash said to all who stood against him, “Would you plead for Baal? Would you save him? Let the one who would plead for him be put to death by morning! If he is a god, let him plead for himself, because his altar has been down!” Judges 6:31-33

This is a very familiar story found in chapter 6 of the book of Judges. Gideon had torn down the altar of Baal, under the cover of darkness because, “he feared his father’s household and the other men in the city too much…. (v.27)” In the morning, the men of the city wanted to kill Gideon and the other men with him who had torn down their altar and idols.

Usually in this story I focus on Gideon’s fear. I can easily identify with him because I am not sure, but I probably would have done what he did. I would have really wanted to please God, but would have been really afraid. So, I would work out some sort of compromise in my mind where I could obey God and minimize the cost. Honestly, I am not sure what I would do if God told me go to the pagoda next door to my house and to destroy it. I know the cost to me and my family would be huge!

The other night in our family devotion time, we read this story again. I found myself focusing on a different aspect of the story for the first time. As we were reading, I found myself in the place of the men of the city. What do I do when others tear down the idols and altars in my life? Sure, the places that I find myself worshipping are not as obvious as the people where I live. I do not get up and burn incense to deceased relatives every morning. I do not go to the pagoda and offer sacrifices to the spirits in order to have good luck. But I do have idols in my life just the same. I am sure you do as well. Some are obvious: sports teams and television. Then there are those subtle ones that I worship at: my doctrine, my style of worship, my view of righteous social agendas, etc.

Like the men of the city, I find myself defending my idols. In my Church circles it is easy to push aside most of the assaults on my idols. I just say something like, “Hey brother, you need to watch out, your letting a religious spirit creep into your thinking.” That works for those challenging your time, how you spend your money, what entertains you. Another common defense of my idols is to say, “Wow, you are really letting the culture influence you. You have watered down the truth.” That one works on the assault to my motives on social agenda issues. After all, my agenda is righteous, so I can hide my motive to be right behind that, right?

I find that the subtle idols are dangerous because they can most easily be disguised as ___________ (fill in your Christian jargon here). Doctrine is important, worship is important, social agendas, and the rest are important, but sometimes we can find ourselves letting these take the place of relationship with this amazing, holy, loving, Christ.

I find that the idols in my life, even the “holy” ones, keep me away from the God of love. The Holy Spirit has challenged me this week to lay down my idols and to see if they can defend themselves. If they can’t, then they need to go. I want to get to that simple Christianity that just lives to the glory of God daily by loving Him and loving my neighbor.

Joash was a pretty wise man. Will you follow his advice this week and let your idols defend themselves if they can?

Empty Money Box

As I opened the money box, I was surprised to see that it was empty. It was the first Monday of the month and I had gone into the office early to get the staff salaries and rent ready. I looked into the box in disbelief. I called for Tola and Coy, two of the young men from Heritage House who work at the school as security guards, to come. Tola came around the corner and I asked where Coy was. He told me that Coy had not been there all weekend long. I stood in disbelief as my mind whirled and I realized that Coy, one of my Khmer "sons," had robbed the ministry.

Coy's father, an ex-Khmer Rouge solider and cadre leader, was murdered when Coy was 10 years old. His father was a shaman for their village and had made alot of enemies in his past. Coy and his siblings heard the gun shots from a few hundred yards away, but he was dead by the time they reached him. His mother immediately abandoned the family and moved to Thailand. Coy's sister, the oldest of 11, had married a pastor and tired to care for the younger children, but they did not have the resources to care for them properly. So, Coy, and three of his younger siblings, Krum, Yaht and Srey Ma, came to live with us at Heritage House. They have been a part of our family for over six years now.

For a week, Vutha and I tried to contact Coy. All of our attempts failed and we grew more and more frustrated. We spent a week on the emotional roller coaster of guilt, "how did we fail him?," to anger, "how could he do this to us?", to prayer, "Father, help us and protect Coy!", and over and over again. Finally, Coy's brother-in-law, the pastor, got ahold of him and called us. We scheduled a meeting and prayed that he would return.

I finally got the call from Vutha saying that Coy, his brother-in-law, and two other men were at his house and wanted to meet with me. As I walked into the room, every eye was on me and I knew that the first few words were critical. Coy stood as I walked in and bowed in Asian respect. My emotions were overwhelming and I really did not know what to say or to do, so I did what came natural, I hugged him and told him that I loved him and that, more importantly, Jesus loved him and wanted to forgive him. The tension in the room immediately lifted as the presence of the Lord filled that place.

We talked for over an hour and Coy returned the money that he had not spent (about 80%). We have scheduled a payment plan for the other 20%. One of the men who was with Coy was not a Christian and could not believe how we reacted to the situation. In Khmer society, things would have been much different for Coy. I was excited to see how Vutha handled the situation as a Khmer Christian, a pastor, and a father to the Heritage House children.

As we finished our meeting, we prayed for Coy. When we were done praying, Coy fell into my arms and wept openly asking for forgiveness. This is against everything in Khmer culture, he is a young man, and they do not cry and no one here asks for forgiveness without the grace of God coming on them. I wept with Coy and I rejoiced in his humility and the fact that he was once again right with the Father.

Coy is living with his sister and brother-in-law again. We all felt that was best for him at this point. He called Sterling last week, they are good friends, and talked for awhile. Before they hung up, he asked that Kristen or I call him sometime. I was out of town, but Kristen called and they had a good talk. I will call him tomorrow to check on him.

"...love will cover a multitude of sins" (1 Peter 4:8), and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for the love of Christ that forgives and covers my sins, I am thankful that he can pour out in my heart an attitude of love toward a young man who made a bad choice. I know that this is part of the dealings of God in Coy's life and that Coy's future is going to be a good one as long as he continues to humble himself to His Savior.

This orphanage thing can ripe your guts out at times, but I praise God for His goodness and faithfulness in my life, in Kristen's life, and in the lives of the children at Heritage House. He is good!

The Orphans Cry

The older girls from Heritage House had a sleep over at our house a few weeks back. Kristen and Elizabeth LeMarr had them over to play games, eat popcorn and watch a movie. We like to do icebreakers with the kids from Heritage House just to see what they are thinking about things.

We usually do one serious one and one lighter one. On this night, Kristen asked the girls a light one to start off. The question was, “If a genie granted you one wish, what would you wish for?” The girls started around the room and the answers ranged from, “I would wish for a good job,” to “I would wish for a nice moto,” until finally it came to Churp. Chrup is a 14 years old and is a very serious young woman. When it was her turn to answer the question, she sat quietly for a few seconds and then said, “If I had one wish, it would be that my entire family really knew Jesus.”

Chrup’s older sister, Srey Neeung used to live at Heritage House. When she was sixteen years old, she decided that she wanted to move out and live her own life. Their mother had died in child birth with their younger sister, Srey Night. Their father had left them with their grandmother and remarried. Srey Neeung went back to live with their father and work in a sweat shop. Chrup prays daily for her older sister and father.

Srey Neeung gets married this week. When we asked Chrup if she wanted to go, she said, “No, I cannot go because Srey Neeung is going to marry a man who is not a Christian. She knows the truth but is choosing to disobey God. I cannot go and say this is alright.” In this culture, it is a huge step to not go to a family function. Chrup is really taking a stand for righteousness . She is putting the word of God and the truths found there ahead of her culture and ahead of her family (Luke 14:26). It would be easy for her to go and say, “I am going to be a witness.” However, she is letting her older sister know that she loves her, but will not sit by while her sister chooses to disobey God. For this, I applaud Chrup.

Churp has a burden for souls. However, it is not the burden that says there is an easy salvation out there; just say this prayer and then live however you want. Her burden is for a true, soul saving, life changing salvation that brings freedom in Christ. Chrup, as evidenced by the answer to the question that Kristen asked, is also not concerned for the things of this world. She has fixed her eyes on the eternal and cares for the things that really matter. She is burdened for her family, her friends at school, and her country.

I am convicted as I write this because I see in a 14 year old young woman what should be the burden of my heart. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be the “unction” in my life for what really matters. I pray for a fresh burden for souls.